The Happy Couple's Handbook by Andrew G. Marshall

Author:Andrew G. Marshall
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Health Communications Inc
Published: 2019-05-01T16:00:00+00:00

Accentuate the Positive

Generally it is easier to say what we don’t want than to ask for what we do want. That’s why, when trying to make things better with our partners, we end up either complaining or simply describing the problem.

So thinking of your complaints about your partner, write down the top three and turn them into positive requests: what you want rather than what you don’t want. The more specific you can be the better.

For example:

Complaint: You sulk to get your own way.

Positive Request: Please tell me outright when you disagree.

How will I know when this has been achieved: When we can happily go shopping together.

Concrete Goal: Let’s choose the new faucets for the kitchen together.

Complaint: I’m always the driving force.

Positive Request: Don’t leave all the decisions to me.

How will I know when this has been achieved: When my partner arranges a night out.

Concrete Goal: Actively planning a vacation together.

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